"The typical gambler might not really understand the probabilistic
nuances of the wheel or the dice, but such things seem a bit more
tractable than, say, trying to raise a child in this lunatic society
of ours." -Arthur S. Reber, The New Gambler 's Bible
"In the queer mess of human destiny the determining factor
is luck. For every important place in life there are many men
of fairly equal capacities. Among them luck decides who shall
accomplish the great work, who shall be crowned with laurel, and
who shall fall back into silence and obscurity."-William
Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster. -Yugoslav
"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember
it didn't work for the rabbit."-R. E. Shay
"A gambler with a system must be, to a greater or lesser
extent, insane." George Augustus Sala (1828-95) English writer
"Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something."-Wilson
"I am sorry I have not learned to play cards. It is very
useful in life. It generates kindness and consolidates society."
"In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure
to go straight to the keno lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there."
-An anonymous casino boss
"Remember this: The house doesn't beat the player. It
just gives him the opportunity to beat himself." -Nicholas
(Nick the Greek) Dandalos
"You know what luck is? Luck is believing you're lucky...to
hold front position in this rat-race you've got to believe you're
-Stanley Kowalski, A Streetcar Named Desire
"The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong,
but that's the way to bet." -Grantland Rice
"Don't gamble the rent money or you'll land up sleeping
on the park bench." -Capt. Summer Fun, Ret.
"Blackjack is the only casino game an amateur can learn
to play and at which he can definitely win." -Lawrence Revere,
author, Playing Blackjack as a Business
"Gambling is the future on the internet. You can only
look at so many dirty pictures." -Simon Noble, an Austrian-based
"When we put 50 machines in, I consider them 50 more mousetraps.
You have to have a mousetrap to catch a mouse." -Bob Stupak,
former Las Vegas casino owner
Noting his mother's visit to Las Vegas the weekend before she
died. "She got to go to heaven four days early." -President
"A lottery is a salutary instrument and a taxlaid on the
willing only, that is to say, on those who can risk the price
of a ticket without sensible injury, for the possibility of a
higher prize." -Thomas Jefferson
"You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money
from it." -Albert Einstein
"A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to
us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at
Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same
way." -Mark Twain
They were burying a high-roller in Las Vegas and a few of his
gambling cronies were gathered grave side when the minister said;
"Gus is merely sleeping." His best friend was heard
muttering: "I've got a hundred that says he's dead."
"Stop cheating!" the dealer told the card player.
"I'm not!" claimed the player.
"You must be," said the dealer. "That is not the
hand that I dealt you."
"Suckers have no business with money anyway." -Canada
Bill Jones, Legendary Three-card Monte Dealer
"Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second
"At that point I ought to have gone away, but a strange
sensation rose up in me, a sort of defiance of fate, a desire
to challenge it, to put out my tongue at it. I laid down the largest
stake allowe-four thousand gulden-and lost it. Then, getting hot,
I pulled out all I had left, staked it on the same number, and
lost again, after which I walked away from the table as though
I were stunned. I could not even grasp what had happened to me."
Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Gambler
"If I had the money and the drinking capacity, I'd probably
live at a roulette table and let my life go to hell." -Michael
"Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money
with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have
borrowed his oar I would have stayed." Mark Twain
I hope to break even this week. I need the money. -VETERAN
LAS VEGAS GAMBLER
The Wampanoag Tribe has a machine, and they say, "It's
completely idiot proof." I told them they've got it all wrong.
I want a machine that is "idiot friendly." Former Massachusetts
Governor William F. Weld
"The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines
man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his
fate and his future." -Franz Rosenthal, Gambling in Islam
"Why otherwise would that dignified fellow dressed like
a banker be sitting at a machine murmuring; "Talk to me baby,
I know you understand my needs." -Roger Fleming
"Gambling is a principle inherent in nature." -Edmund
Burke, House of Commons speech (1780)
"If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow,
and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing
is no fun." -Chico Marx
"He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces."
"When I played pool I was like a good psychiatrist. I
cured 'em of all their daydreams and delusions. -Minnesota Fats
"My advice to the unborn is, don't be born with a gambling
instinct unless you have a good sense of probabilities."
Jack Dreyfus of Dreyfus Mutual Fund
"I have always wondered if the results of the Versailles
Conferences would have been different if Woodrow Wilson had been
a poker player." -Clyde Brion Davis Quoted in A. D. Livingston,
Poker Strategy and Winning Play
In a bet there is a fool and a thief. -Proverb
"Gambling is a principle inherent in human nature."
-Edmund Burke, in a speech before the House Of Commons (1780)
"Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common;
they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you
home with a smile on you face." -VP Pappy
"Look high, look low, and we see that gamblers actually
form the majority of the world's inhabitants." -James Runciman,
Side Lights (1893)
"They gambled in the Garden of Eden, and they will again
if there's another one." -Richard Albert Canfield
"The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps
it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion
for keeping roulette tables is unknown." -Bernard Shaw
"It can be argued that man's instinct to gamble is the
only reason he is still not a monkey up in the trees." -Mario
Puzo, Inside Las Vegas
"I've learned the lesson that the worst thing that can
happen to a gambler is to let his recent losses or wins knock
him off keel emotionally." -Andrew Beyer
"Judged by the dollars spent, gambling is now more popular
in America than baseball, the movies, and Disneyland-combined."
-Timothy L. O'Brien, Bad Bet (1998)
"They (slot machines) sit there like young courtesans,
promising pleasures undreamed of, your deepest desires fulfilled,
all lusts satiated." -Frank Scoblete
"Gambling itself will only end when human nature has changed
completely and there are no more bets to win." -Harold S.
Smith Sr., I Want to Quit Winners
"The majority of casino players leave to much to chance
when playing in a casino. To put it bluntly, they don't have a
clue as to how to play." -Henry Tamburin, gambling author
"They are the new breed of slot machine-colorful, fancy,
exciting, wonderful...and deadly." -Frank Scoblete
"One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade
and a package of garden seeds." Dan Bennett
"A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned."
-Paul Newman, The Color of Money
"My last piece of advice to the degenerate slot player
who thinks he can beat the one-armed bandit consists of four little
words: "It can't be done." -John Scarne
"When a gambler picks up a pack of cards or a pair of
dice, he feels as though he has reduced an unmanageable world
to a finite, visible and comprehensive size." -Annabel Davis-Goff,
The Literary Companion to Gambling
"If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino,
you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough."
"Even as I approach the gambling hall, as soon as I hear,
two rooms away, the jingle of money poured out on the table, I
almost go into convulsions." -Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Gambler
"A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to
see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They
judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses."
-Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia (1832)
"Guessing has never been widely acclaimed as a good gambling
strategy." -Dr. G
"No wife can endure a gambling husband unless he is a
steady winner." -Lord Dewar
Something to moan out between grinding teeth after this political
season. "Didn't I warn you-Huh-Didn't I tell you one of 'em
was going to win!?? So now, what do we do?" -Jack Norris
"Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways, women,
gambling, and farming. My family chose the slowest one."
-Pope John XXIII
"With the perverse logic of a degenerate gambler he figured
God was testing his faith." -Mario Puzo, Inside Las Vegas
"The rulers of the country generally believed that betting
eliminates strikes. Men had to work in order to gamble."
-Michael Ondaatje, Running the Family
"Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is
in the bathroom." -VP Pappy (A crusty old sage that still
roams the Green Felt Jungles in Detroit)
"The racetrack is a place where windows clean people."
"If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is
he lucky?" -Stanislaw J. Lec
"The smarter you play, the luckier you'll be." -Mark
"Gaming corrupts our disposition and teaches us a habit
of hostility against all mankind." -Thomas Jefferson
Accordingly, he kept meticulous records of his backgammon and
"I am now eased in my finances and replenished in my wardrobe."
-Andrew Jackson after winning a horse race.
"I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way
around the buffets in Las Vegas." -Rick Majerus, Utah Utes
college basketball coach
A problem gambler was urged by a counselor to take the 20-question
test for compulsive gambling. Upon completing it, the subject
commented; "Boy, Gamblers Anonymous must be hard up for new
members. They make qualifying so easy."
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces. -American Proverb
"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over
once and put it in your pocket." - Kin Hubbard
"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause
and effect." -Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I hope to break even this week. I need the money. -VETERAN
LAS VEGAS GAMBLER
"Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a lifetime,
but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and
does not hear her." -Mark Twain
"The only difference between a winner and a loser is character."
- Nick the Greek
"It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe
in luck." - Joseph Conrad
"We got an education when in 1992 Wolfgang Puck opened
Spago in the Forum Shops in Caesars Palace and proved to us that
people will line up to get good food." -Steve Wynn
"But, Steve, if you bring back a $3.49 prime rib buffet,
you'll have lines out the casino front door and down Las Vegas
Blvd." -Mark Pilarski
This quote crossed my desk this week from a reader. Those of
you with the same passion and affliction for betting motor sports
as I might enjoy it.
"Race fans, I had inferred from my one trip to the Brickyard
400, fell into one of two categories: tattooed, shirtless, sewer-mouthed
drunks, and their husbands." Steve Ruchin, Sports Illustrated
"I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success
of those you dislike?" -Jean Cocteau
In Atlantic City, N.J., elderly gamblers got flu shots Monday
at Bally's Park Place ballroom while slot machines jangled in
the next room. Nurses said the shot could cause soreness in their
arms, but many replied they would work it out by pulling the slot
"Men are probably nearer the central truth in their superstitions
than in their science." - Henry David Thoreau
"Son, we are sorry about the tuition funds...your mother
and I did not know you are not supposed to split tens..."
-Letters home from people visiting Reno.
"Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is,
is either a liar or doesn't play poker." -Amarillo Slim
"The best bet you get is an even break." -Franklin